Complete Text (Part 8)

and with fine in- consistency declaring themselves quite ready to risk their lives in this 'necessary and salutary war.' All along the route that won- derful spirit which was to save the country was all about me, calm yet thrilling with a glowing life that one felt was inextinguish- able. "At the end of the journey I heard for the first time the rumbling of cannon, and it was to the accompaniment of that sound which continued without a pause that we worked to transform into a hospital the large girls' school which had been turned over to us. My companions had already done wonders, but what a mass of detail had still to be thought of in the midst of such consuming anxiety. In a few days our preparations were complete and we waited, idle, for the wounded to come. It was pe- culiarly trying to have nothing to do and time to think of what those words mean, to IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL 121 wait for the wounded. To wait until those scenes of carnage for which the declaration of war is the terrible signal should happen close to us; to wait for the pitiful human wrecks escaped from death to come back to us from those fields of suffering. "Our thoughts were racked by the horrible realities that we could not see and yet knew to be so near. Inaction depressed and un- nerved us and yet how gladly would we have put off forever the moment when our help would be needed. Alas, that moment was not long in coming. On August 14th the wounded began to arrive, and I realised how splendidly equal to their task my helpers were. Several of them had already seen ac- tive service in Morocco, Greece or Bulgaria and their morale was even more valuable than their talents and training. "The atmosphere of S was electrified. We felt the line of fire and iron close around us. We were told that one hundred Ger- man cannon balls had fortunately only 122 IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL killed four and wounded twelve people. For the first time enormous aeroplanes flew over the cit}'. They seemed heavier than our own and were painted a darker colour. A few bombs were dropped. Each day we saw great numbers of autobuses loaded with pro- visions for the army rush past at full speed, going we knew not where. The mystery that enveloped us was most oppressive. An In- spector coming to see us, stumbled without knowing it into the middle of the General StaflF. He saw fift}^ or sixty officers and was told that he was between six army corps. Before letting him go they required his word of honour not to tell where this happened. "August 15th. — Mass in the open air. The deep voice of the cannon sounds nearer. Every one sang in chorus the creed and the canticle, 'Have pity, O God,' and many officers and soldiers received the communion. WTiat one feels at such a time lies in the depth of the heart and cannot be expressed. The badly wounded have begun to arrive IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL I23 and in one day our hospital is almost full. "August 20th. — General X, commanding an army corps, and his staff visited us as they passed through. The general was cheerful and spoke to the men in a comfort- ing, fatherly way. He told them not to worry. 'Whatever happens we will end by shaking hands with our Russian allies in Berlin.' One of his officers took particular interest in the hospital and when he was brought back to us three days later on a stretcher, I was surprised to hear this pa- tient whom I thought a stranger, saying: I did not expect, Madame, the pleasure of seeing you again so soon.' "The 23rd of August was the day after a great battle — that in the wood of St. H , and the wounded were brought in in quanti- ties. About noon came a general whom we placed as best we could in a little room. He did not want us to give him any special care, though he was suffering terribly, and was anxious only about two of his officers. 124 ^N A FRENCH HOSPITAL By a curious chance a soldier of his division was brought in a few moments later, and the general was eager to learn from him what had happened to some of his 'children.' He insisted upon seeing the soldier at once. " The Major^' he asked. " 'Dead, sir.' " The Captain? " 'Dead, sir.' "Four times the question was repeated with the same sad answer. The general bowed his head and asked no more, but we saw the tears on his strong face and stole out of the little room in silence, as if we were afraid of waking from their glorious sleep the men whose names had just been called. "A Lieutenant de V , who came to us with a flesh wound on his head, a ball had glanced from his skull, told us that his regi- ment had gone out with one thousand two hundred and sixty men and only sixty-seven were left. He refused to stay out of danger, to go back to the depot of his corps, or even IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL 125 to report his wound, but only asked us to dress his head, and started out the next morning alone to try to find his regiment. Nothing could persuade him to give up the dangerous plan, and heaven knows what be- came of him. "August 24th. — It was evident that the situation in S was becoming more and more serious, and my responsibilities weighed heavily on my shoulders. That afternoon I heard that the military hospital was being emptied. Should we do the same, or should we stay"? I felt deeply that the lives of those around me depended upon this deci- sion. I asked advice of the Dean of S , who had seen 1870, and he was quite de- cided. 'Empty your hospital; go yourself as soon as possible; do you want your wounded bombarded or massacred? Do you want to be forced with your nurses into the hospital service of the enemy for the rest of the war?' "That decided me. Nurse Prussians, un- 126 IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL der orders, like a German woman'? Never! I went to the station and they promised me after some difficulty just space enough on the last train that evening. The railroad officials reserved a car for our personal use. Then I went back to the hospital and told the others of my decision. They begged me to change and some of them asked to stay, or if the hospital was closed, to be sent to the front. I told them that places were re- served for them in the train with the wounded, but they all refused to go, and my responsibilities were made heavier by their courage. "We began to dress our poor wounded for their journey, taking them from the rest that they had bought so dearly. To avoid excit- ing them we told them that they were being moved to make room for some more severely wounded, so it was 'all right,' and there was not a complaint about the change which cost them such torture. While we were hurry- ing to prepare them, more wounded arrived. IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL 127 and then still more. They had to be packed wherever we could put them in the hall and theatre of the school. One poor little second lieutenant, very badly hurt, asked if he might not stay; he was hardly twenty, with the face of a boy, and he accepted my de- cision with the obedience of a child. I felt myself in his mother's place, and thought of her when I advised him to go. He had lost all his uniform and we wrapped him up in an old brown overcoat which had been given to the hospital, under which he quite disap- peared. We put an old hat on his head and I wrote 'officer' on a label, which I sewed on his chest, in spite of much protestation, for he wanted no privileges. "Once ready, he seemed so weak and ex- hausted that I provided him with two in- jections of camphorated oil for the journey. He could give them to himself or get help from a comrade if he was too faint. At nine the carriages came, and the painful start was accomplished. Was this horrible night- mare a reality? The sound of the departing 128 IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL wheels struck into our hearts. A moment later as we were taking a little food, a Colonel of the Staff brought us a motor full of wounded. He had found them in the ditches all along the road, and some of them were delirious. He took them straight on to the train, with a permit, for no one could now drive through the streets, as the bridges were all mined. "We had now to arrange for the most se- riously wounded. The doctors, whose devo- tion had never for an instant flagged, had refused to let these go and some of them were dying. We could not bear to desert them, and yet from every side I was given the same counsel, 'Go, empty your hospital. Your wounded will be safer in the civil hospital than under the Red Cross.' I called the doctors together again and they prom- ised to give particular care to those whom I was leaving behind. At ten o'clock the cure came to confess them and administer the communion. There were still arrangements IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL 129 to be made about their admission to the civil hospital, so I wanted to go there. I had the password, but after eleven o'clock it was of no use, as no one was allowed in the streets. With one of the nurses I walked for miles along the Meuse to avoid passing through the city. We heard the explosion of some of the mines which were blowing up the bridges. The good man who went with us had seen his father shot in '70; he himself, a baby, had been tossed about by the Uhlans, and he begged us over and over again not to go. " 'You would not desert us now; that would mean that the Prussians were coming back. You won't go'?' "At last we reached the hospital and saw that heavenly, peaceful sight in time of war, the white headdress of the Sisters ready to help all who are in trouble. Our wounded would be expected at dawn. As we went back we saw far away in the dark town the red glow of a fire. I heard cries from the 130 IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL same quarter. The machine guns were in place, ready for the Uhlans. How dreadful it all was! "We reached home at two o'clock and found the others still stoically on duty. At three o'clock came the sound of carriages in the courtyard and we ourselves helped to load them with our poor wounded. It was the dying that we were sending this time. But we may at least have secured them a peaceful end, sheltered from the terrors of the bombardment and the arrival of Prus- sian soldiers around their deathbeds and all the horrors that threatened them so near the lines. It was such reasons alone that kept my decision from wavering. "What anguish we felt I We got into the last wagon to accompany them to the hospital. During our passage through the town, half-dressed people with haggard faces came out of their doors or appeared at the windows along our route. The least noise IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL I3I made them think the Prussians had come. "For the last time we went into our hos- pital, and with aching hearts made once more the round of the great empty rooms. What an amount of wasted effort was rep- resented by those abandoned preparations. We took all the men's arms and military equipment with us and at last got into an ambulance and the porter took us to the sta- tion. There we learned that the communi- cations with S were broken. There were no more trains — it was the end. They told us that the commanding officer could perhaps requisition an automobile for our use. We went to him, but he was sick and had lost his voice and had nothing to give us but one bicycle. Then we thought of the general who had come to visit us. He had chosen the house of one of the chief sup- porters of our hospital for his quarters with his staff. We went there, but, alas, there was only emptiness and silence, for the gen- 132 IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL eral had already betaken himself farther away. At any moment S might become a part of the very front of the huge battle. "We made up our minds to make use of our good horse, 'Tirot,' as long as his strength should last. His driver, however, who was afraid that he would not be able to rejoin his family after the bridges had been blown up, declared that he, himself, was going to leave us for good. One of us, who has the faculty of making quick and happy decisions, took the reins, and was ready to drive our cart through the thousand difficul- ties of the way. Our destination was uncer- tain. We would go in the direction of Rheims as long as 'Tirot' was willing to drag us. "At last we started across this marvel- lously beautiful country, covered at that moment by a population of strangers, who were the incarnation either of war or fear. We passed through the whole system of de- fence. The Eleventh corps was there and a IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL 133 part of the Sixteenth ready for the action which was to take place that very evening. Batteries were hidden behind every hedge. Looking across the fields, we could see rows of men's heads in the trenches. As we went along we distributed to the men the arms and supplies which filled our cart. Some ar- tillerymen asked us for some sacred medals. The road was blocked by the pitiful crowd of fugitives. They drove carts loaded with old men, children, household furniture and the greatest variety of things. In the midst of the unbelievable dust every one travelled along slowly, very slowly, saving their horses, so as to get the longest possible dis- tance out of them. We got down at all the hills in order to rest 'Tirot.' A number of unfortunate people who were on foot with- out any kind of cart, carried heavy bundles on their backs. I noticed one young woman almost exhausted, who was soon to become a mother. There was a child of about two years old in the wheelbarrow which she was 134 IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL pushing, and another ran beside her holding to her skirts. She was all alone. Nowhere did we see any men. All these wretched people, torn brutally from the homes which in the absence of their fathers or husbands would have offered protection to their lone- liness, were thrown out on the world without any support or any safeguard. What will become of them? The soldiers, themselves, who were marching in the opposite direction on their way to the firing line and who had cares enough of their own, could not see them without being moved. I heard one of them mutter, 'It's hard, all the same.* "Our poor 'Tirot' was very tired. We fed I him a little every now and then along the way, for we did not know what else to do. To rest him some of us travelled for two kilometres in a motor loaded with meat, from which we finally got down saturated with unpleasant smells. We rested in a vil- lage and a zealous young doctor brought us a raw leg of mutton as provender for our IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL 135 journey. We heard that at S while we were still busy over our wounded, the first patrol of the Uhlans had entered the town and that eighteen of them had been killed. "We had to begin our journey again on foot, for the horse could go no farther. From time to time we gave him a little water in a bandage box. A battle was going on, it seems, only twelve kilometres away, and we heard the cannon continuously from that direction. "We reached the top of a little ridge and sat down at the edge of a field of wheat to catch our breath. At our feet the immense movement of the troops went on vaguely far and near. The regimental wagons and the medical corps passed one after the other. You would have thought that they were huge colonies of human ants hastening to- wards some mysterious goal. Suddenly three German aeroplanes flew over us, spy- ing out the movements of the armies. Seated on that little hill in our white nurses' uni- 136 IN A FRENCH HOSPITAL forms, we became at once a very convenient target, so that we were obliged to go on again. It was ten hours since we had left S and so far we had only covered twen- ty-five kilometres. "We were going through the beautiful woods of Mont Dieu, and there, in striking contrast, the quiet was profound. All the peace of the evening had taken refuge in the forest. The peasants, who were leaving their homes, did not disturb it, but under the dim splendour of the great leafy shadows they marched silently along followed by their long flocks,